i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
