you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
