coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
