ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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