How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
