Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
