He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
