very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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