When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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