you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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