I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You are the jesus of drinking
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
