Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
