I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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