I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
3pm strippers are depressing
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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