let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My Sexting was not on an AP level
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
