dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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