Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
