Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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