I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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