mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You don't make any sense
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