Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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