We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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