Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
