i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
