i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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