everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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