we have pet lesbian snakes
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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