soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
