Porn is love you can see.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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