around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
is that a dick in a sweater?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize