Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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