the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
pray to the hookup gods
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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