Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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