I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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