i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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