Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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