Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
smell my finger.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
