allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
