weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
