"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
