its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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