So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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