Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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