We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
