Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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