Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
