booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
