You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
