I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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