Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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